sileNcE

.............

2009-06-02T19:49:00.001-07:00

Only Human

2009-05-31T19:13:00.000-07:00

sometimes we fail to realise that,
the one we never paid attention to,
loves us deeply..

sometimes we fail to realise that,
we love someone too deep,
while he never pays attention to us
and keeps hurting us,

and we never realised that,
we are not perfect,
to expect someone perfect in our life,

and we are nobody,
to force people to love us,

because we are only human...

The Don'ts..

2009-05-05T19:11:00.000-07:00

Don’t laugh at my stupid jokes, since I’ll feel like torturing you,
Don’t give me praises, since I know my weaknesses,
Don’t be too nice since it’s going to be hard for me to let go,
Don’t give me too many promises, since I’ll believe in everything you said,

Don’t see me too often, since I will miss you sooner,
Don’t hold my hands frequently, since I’ll feel cold without you,
Don’t text me too much, since I’ll look at my phone all the time,
Don’t be too patient with me, since I’ll feel like I can’t hate you,

Don’t say others names, am I not enough for you?
Don’t apologize to me because it’ll makes me feel guilty,
Don’t show me your back, since I’ll be feeling sad,
Don’t say you’re going away, since I’ll start crying,

Don’t fleet your smile sweetly, since I’ll think of you forever,
Don’t care too much about me since I’ll weak without you,
Don’t give me too much love, since I will fall deeper,
Don’t say you’ll leave me, since I’ll die without you,

Hate

2009-04-30T02:25:00.000-07:00

hate to know that i care for you,
hate to know that i can't lose you,
hate to know that i might fall for you,
hate to know that i'm weak without you,

hate to say that i dream of you,
hate to say that i long for you,
hate to say that i've affected by you,
hate to say that i've fond for you,

hate to admit that i think of you,
hate to admit that i need you,
hate to admit that i miss you,
hate to admit that i already love you...

Lee Hyori - Scolded

2009-03-12T23:56:00.000-07:00

myuhn doh neun kkohk hae yah hae yo
SHIRTS neun neul goo geem uhp shee kuh peen hah roo hahn jahn
dahm bae johm joo ree goh maep goh jjahn eum sheek eun pi hae yo
ee jeh geu dae doh hohn jah nahm neun yuhn seu beul hae yah jyo...

nah uhp dah goh sool muhk jee mahl goh
nee moh meun nee gah johm duh chaeng gee rahn mahl yah
bah boh chuh ruhm ddoh chahm jee mahl goh
moo seun mahl ee rah doh hah rahn mahl yah
nah uhp dah goh ah peu jee mahl goh
bah beun kkohk chaeng gyuh muhk goh dah nee rahn mahl yah
buhn guh rohp goh gwee chah nah doh boo tahk hae yo...

ApGu jung jah joo gah jee mahl ah yo
yeh ppeun yuh jah mah nah bool ahn hae yo
sang nyang hahn yuh jah neun juhl bahn ee dah nae soong ee eh yo
hahn noon pahl jee mahl ah yo dah boh goh ee ssuh yo...

nah uhp dah goh sool muhk jee mahl goh
nee moh meun nee gah johm duh chaeng gee rahn mahl yah
bah boh chuh ruhm ddoh chahm jee mahl goh
moo seun mahl ee rah doh hah rahn mahl yah
nah uhp dah goh ah peu jee mahl goh
bah beun kkohk chaeng gyuh muhk goh dah nee rahn mahl yah
buhn guh rohp goh gwee chah nah doh boo tahk hae yo...

(sarang mah buh bae sarang
jahl hahl soo eet jyo mee duh yo)
nahm gyuh jeel geu dae gah guhk jung ee jyo...

jee geum kkah jee jahn soh ree mahn hah goh
geu dae uhl gool moht boh goh ddahn soh ree mahn hae yo
nae gah moht nah sseul ddae mahn gee uhk hae jwuh yo
geu ree goh nahl eet neun yuhn seu beul hae yah hae yo
dah shee hahn buhn mahl hae yo ah peu jee mahl goh
bah beun kkohk chaeng gyuh muhk goh dah nee rahn mahl yah

buhn guh rohp goh gwee chah nah doh boo tahk hae yo...

jahn soh ree mahn hah goh gah neh yo
mee ahn hae yo

You have to shave
Keep your shirts wrinkle free, One cup of coffee per day
Try to stop smoking and avoid salty and spicy foods
You have to, now, practice being alone too.

Don't start drinking because I'm no longer there
I mean, Look after yourself
Don't be a fool and keep everything in
Say what you want to say
Don't be sick because I'm no longer there
Don't skip any meals
Even if this is all annoying and you can't be bothered, please..

Don't go to Apgujong too much
There are too many pretty girls there, it makes me worry/anxious
Affectionate and kind women are usually two faced
Don't cheat on anyone, I'm watching everything

Don't start drinking because I'm no longer there
I mean, Look after yourself
Don't be a fool and keep everything in
Say what you want to say
Don't be sick because I'm no longer there
Don't skip any meals
Even if this is all annoying and you can't be bothered, please..
I am worried about leaving you all alone..

I have only been nagging you till now
I can't look at your face and i've been saying other things
Just remember when I was ugly and bad
and practice forgetting me

I will say it once more
Don't be sick and don't skip any meals
Even if this is all annoying and you can't be bothered, please..
I have only been nagging you before I leave
Sorry...

Big Bang- Lies

2009-03-10T20:30:00.001-07:00

Yuh-ba-sae-yo...
Yuh-ba-sae-yo?

(yeah) love is pain
Dedicated to all my broken-hearted people
One's old a flame... just scream my name
And i'm so sick of love songs (yeah)
I hate them damn love songs... moment of ours

(geo-jis-mar)
Neuj-eun bam bi-ga nae-ryeo-wa neor de-ryeo-wa
Jeoj-eun gi-eog kkeut-e dwi-cheog-yeo na
Neo eobs-i jar sar su iss-da-go
Da-jim hae-bwa-do eo-jjeor su eobs-da-go
Mos-ha-neun sur-do ma-si-go
Sog-ta-neun mam bam-sae chae-wo-bwa-dosirh-eo neo eobs-neun ha-ru-neun gir-eo bir-eo
Je-bar ij-ge hae-dar-ra-go (-geo-jis-mar-i-ya)

Neo eobs-neun nae-gen us-eum-i bo-i-ji anh-a
Nun-mur-jo-cha go-i-ji anh-a
Deo-neun sar-go sip-ji anh-a

Yeah
Yeos-gat-ae
Yeor-bad-ge
Ni saeng-gag-e
Dor-a-beo-rir-geos gat-ae

Bo-go sip-eun-de
Bor su-ga eobs-de
Mo-du kkeut-nass-de
I'll be right here

I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar
I-ya mor-rass-eo i-je-ya ar-ass-eo ne-ga pir-yo-hae
I'm so sorry but i love you nar-ka-ro-un mar
Hwas-gim-e na-do mo-reu-ge neor tteo-na-bo-naess-ji-man
I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar
I'm so sorry but i love you
I'm so sorry but i love you
(i love you more and more)
I'm so sorry but i love you na-reur tteo-na
Cheon-cheon-hi ij-eo-jur-rae
Nae-ga a-pa-har su iss-ge

Geu-daer wi-hae-seo bur-reo-wass-deon nae mo-deun geor da ba-chin no-rae
(a-ma sa-ram-deur-eun mo-reu-gess-jyo)
Nan hon-ja,, geu a-mu-do a-mu-do mor-rae
(geu-rae nae-ga haess-deon mar-eun geo-jis-mar)

Hor-ro nam-gyeo-jin oe-tor-i
Geu sog-e he-me-neun nae kkor-i
Ju-meo-ni sog-e kko-gis-kko-gis
Jeob-eo-dun i-byeor-eur hyang-han jjog-ji (hey)
(neon eo-dis-na-yo neor bu-reu-neun seub-gwan-do)
Nan dar-ra-jir-rae
I-jen da us-eo-neom-gir-ge

I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar
I-ya mor-rass-eo i-je-ya ar-ass-eo ne-ga pir-yo-hae
I'm so sorry but i love you nar-ka-ro-un mar
Hwas-gim-e na-do mo-reu-ge neor tteo-na-bo-naess-ji-man
I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar
I'm so sorry but i love you
(i love you more and more)
I'm so sorry but i love you na-reur tteo-na
Cheon-cheon-hi ij-eo-jur-rae
Nae-ga a-pa-har su iss-ge

Oh oh oh oh oh
Mo-deun-ge kkum-i-gir
Oh oh oh
I-geos-bakk-e an-doe-neun na-ra-seo

Drop that thing...

A-jig-do neo-reur mos ij-eo
A-ni pyeong-saeng-eur ga-do (yeah)

Jug-eo-seo-kka-ji-do
Nae-ga jun sang-cheo a-mur-eoss-neun-ji
Mi-an-hae a-mu-geos-do
Hae-jun-ge eobs-neun na-ra-seo

I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar
I-ya mor-rass-eo i-je-ya ar-ass-eo ne-ga pir-yo-hae
I'm so sorry but i love you nar-ka-ro-un mar
Hwas-gim-e na-do mo-reu-ge neor tteo-na-bo-naess-ji-man
I'm so sorry but i love you da geo-jis-mar (but i love you)
I'm so sorry (so sorry) but i love you
(i love you more and more)
I'm so sorry but i love you na-reur tteo-na
Cheon-cheon-hi ij-eo-jur-rae
Nae-ga a-pa-har su iss-ge

Bye bye...

untitled

2009-02-03T00:04:00.000-08:00

What’s the meaning of love for you?

If you don’t know how to deal with it

What’s the meaning of a heart for you?

If you just know how to break it

Tears doesn’t mean I am weak

It shows how deep my heart hurts

Silence doesn’t mean I agree

I just wonder will you listen to me

You said you love me,

But she’s also important to you,

You said you’ll leave her

But I can know it wasn’t real

I’m standing here, alone

You’re standing there, with her

I’m crying here with myself,

She’s crying there next to you

I hurt her with my words,

But she hurts me by having you

I blame her for seducing you

But you blame me for defending my love for you

why?

2009-01-22T22:11:00.000-08:00

i still remember that moment,
the day when my dreams disappeared,
when you said you're engaged,
when you said you need to take care of her heart,
i know i should congratulate you with a smile,
i know i should be happy for you,
but why my tears keep falling down...?

Yahudi Tak Faham Bahasa Perdamaian

2009-01-16T01:53:00.000-08:00

I couldn't remember where do i get this article. But, i just wanted to share it with all. Hope the original writer won't sue me~

Yahudi tidak faham bahasa perdamaian

Sejak 1948, rakyat Palestin terus menjadi mangsa kekejaman zionis yang memasuki negara itu secara haram. Puluhan ribu termasuk kanak-kanak dan wanita yang terkorban akibat keganasan rejim zionis.

Terbaru, zionis terbabit menyerang pula Lebanon, sebuah lagi negara Islam atas alasan menentang kumpulan pejuang Hizbullah yang dicap pengganas oleh mereka.

Wartawan, MOHD. RADZI MOHD. ZIN dan jurufoto, ZAKARIA IDRIS menemubual Timbalan Dekan Fakulti Sains Sosial Universiti Malaya, Prof. Dr. Mohammad Redzuan Othman bagi menjelaskan isu ini.

Boleh Prof. jelaskan kewujudan negara Yahudi ini?

Prof. Redzuan: Negara ini wujud pada 1948 dengan mengambil atau menduduki secara haram tanah rakyat Palestin yang tinggal di situ sejak beribu-ribu tahun lamanya. Oleh sebab ia diduduki secara haram sepatutnya apa juga tindakan Yahudi ini adalah haram. Namun, pada hari ini keadaan sebaliknya berlaku. Rakyat Palestin yang dilihat sebagai pendatang dan Yahudi sebagai pemilik.

Apakah sebenarnya yang mencetus idea penubuhan negara Yahudi ini?

Cadangan penubuhan negara Yahudi ini dibuat oleh seorang wartawan, Theodore Herzl dalam gagasannya yang kemudian dijadikan buku iaitu Der Judnstant.

Ia bermula pada 1897 apabila diadakan Persidangan Pertubuhan Zionis Sedunia (WZO) di Basle, Switzerland. Isu besar yang dibangkitkan ialah mewujudkan Yahudi merdeka walaupun mereka tahu kaum itu tidak layak mempunyai negara selepas pelbagai kemusnahan dan penipuan yang dilakukan termasuk pada zaman para Nabi.

Ini dijelaskan menerusi firman Allah S.W.T, Orang-orang Yahudi dan Nasrani tidak sekali-kali akan bersetuju atau suka kepadamu (wahai Muhammad) sehingga engkau menurut agama mereka yang terpesong itu. (al- Baqarah; 120).

Namun, ingin saya jelaskan yang kita tentang ialah yang berfahaman zionis bukan Yahudi secara keseluruhan. Ini kerana ada Yahudi dari golongan Raban yang turut menentang kezaliman zionis ini.

Ini turut dijelaskan melalui firman Allah, Dan jangan sekali-kali kebencian kamu terhadap sesuatu kaum itu mendorong kamu kepada tidak melakukan keadilan. (al-Maidah; 8)

Salah seorang Yahudi yang menentang dasar kezaliman zionis terhadap orang Palestin ialah Norm Chomsky.

Apakah yang mempercepatkan pendudukan haram Yahudi di bumi Palestin?

Dalam tahun 1917, Setiausaha Luar Kementerian Luar Britain, Lord Arthur Balfore berjanji kepada ketua masyarakat Yahudi Lord Rothchild untuk menubuhkan negara Yahudi di Palestin.

Semasa perang dunia pertama (PD1), negara Barat merasa terhina akibat peristiwa pembunuhan beramai-ramai orang Yahudi yang juga disebut sebagai holocaust. Akibat rasa bersalah, mereka menyokong orang Yahudi memiliki negara iaitu di Palestin.

Ini diburukkan lagi dengan kekalahan kerajaan Uthmaniah dalam PD1 yang meletakkan mandat Palestin di bawah Britain. Ketika inilah berlakunya kemasukan beramai-ramai Yahudi ke Palestin.

Selanjutnya, perang dunia kedua mempercepatkan lagi kemasukan secara haram golongan Yahudi ke bumi Palestin.

Palestin dilihat bukan sahaja dilupakan oleh Persatuan Bangsa-bangsa Bersatu (PBB) tetapi juga Liga Arab. Apa puncanya?

Memang benar. Rakyat Palestin adalah antara bangsa yang paling malang di dunia kerana dilupakan oleh PBB, negara Arab dan juga umat Islam sendiri.

Nasib mereka hanya dilihat terbela sekitar tahun 60-an dan 70-an apabila wujud inisiatif menubuhkan Palestin merdeka.

Antara usaha yang berkesan ialah penubuhan Pertubuhan Pembebasan Palestin (PTO) yang dipimpin oleh Allahyarham Yasser Arafat.

Pada tahun-tahun itu, isu Palestin dilihat sebahagian isu orang Arab tetapi selepas tahun 90-an, ia tidak lagi dianggap begitu.

Inilah yang menimbulkan kekecewaan kepada rakyat Palestin hinggakan mereka seolah-olah berputus asa mendapatkan bantuan negara Arab atau umat Islam yang lain.

Namun, tidak dinafikan rakyat negara Arab masih mempunyai simpati yang tinggi kepada saudara mereka di Palestin.

Resolusi 272 yang diluluskan oleh Pertubuhan Bangsa-bangsa Bersatu (PBB) untuk mewujudkan dua negara iaitu Palestin dan Israel dengan nisbah 51:49 juga tidak pernah dilaksana.

Sebaliknya, Yahudi terus memperluas dan mengambil tanah orang Palestin dengan sewenang-wenangnya.

Adakah krisis sesama negara Arab turut menyulitkan lagi penyelesaian isu Palestin?

Pendapat ini ada benarnya. Krisis serantau tidak mebantu Palestin malah memburukkan lagi keadaan. Contohnya perang Iran dan Iraq. Sebenarnya, kalau tidak berperang sesama sendiri itu pun sudah banyak membantu Palestin.

Keadaan semakin rumit apabila Iraq menyerang Kuwait pada 1991. Tindakan Presiden Saddam Hussein ini menyebabkan perjanjian pelan damai Palestin terbantut.

Kesan lebih teruk ialah selepas kejatuhan Saddam Hussein apabila Kuwait mengusir rakyat Palestin yang selama ini bekerja dan berniaga di negara itu. Ini kerana mereka dianggap mengkhianati Kuwait berikutan sokongan Allahyarham Arafat kepada Saddam.

Keadaan ini sekaligus menjejaskan intifada pertama. Malah, hartawan Palestin di Kuwait kini hanya menjadi pemandu teksi di Yamman, Jordan.

Peristiwa ini meletakkan Saddam sebaris dengan beberapa pemimpin Arab seperti Raja Hussein dan Anwar Sadat yang pro Barat.

Inilah yang mendorong kepada intifada pada 1987. Namun, rakyat Palestin hanya bersenjatakan batu sebagai simbolik dalam menentang tentera Yahudi, pasukan terkuat di dunia.

Sejauh mana kebenaran dakwaan rakyat Palestinlah yang memulakan aktiviti serangan bom berani mati?
Sebenarnya pendekatan bom berani mati ini hanya bermula selepas ekstremis Yahudi, Barush Goldstein membunuh umat Islam yang sedang solat subuh di Masjid Ibrahim, Palestin. Inilah yang pencetus gerakan lebih radikal dalam kalangan rakyatnya yang telah sekian lama ditindas.

Selepas peristiwa inilah, bom berani mati menjadi senjata memerangi Yahudi yang menyaksikan darah Yahudi mengalir di beberapa bandar seperti Baitulmaqdis, Haifa, Askalon dan Sederot.

Intifada kedua pada tahun 2000 pula berlaku ekoran lawatan Ariel Sharon ke Haram Al-Sharif di Palestin.

Apakah yang terjadi pada pelan damai Israel-Palestin di bawah Perjanjian Madrid?
Selepas perang Iraq, Amerika Syarikat (AS) di bawah Presiden George Bush pernah berusaha mewujudkan Palestin merdeka seperti yang dijanjinya di bawah Perjanjian Madrid.

Namun, ia gagal mencapai persetujuan oleh kedua-dua negara. Namun pada 1993, Sweeden secara senyap-senyap membawa Palestin dan Yahudi merangka pelan damai di bawah Perjanjian Oslo.

Ia bagaimanapun tidak dapat diimplementasikan sepenuhnya ekoran pembunuhan Perdana Menteri Israel, Yitzhak Rabin pada 1995 oleh ekstremis Yahudi iaitu Yigal Amir. Kejadian ini memperlahankan pelan damai tersebut.

Mengapa negara-negara Arab tidak mahu menyebelahi Palestin dalam perjuangan ini?

Pemimpin Arab pada era 80-an amat takut kepada AS. Ini ditambah dengan krisis serantau antara Iran dan Iraq yang dianggap boleh mengancam negara sekitarnya jika berterusan.

Hal ini menyebabkan pemimpin Arab seperti Hosni Mubarak mencari kuasa pelindung daripada diserang. Mereka melihat AS itu sebagai kuasa itu dan penyelamat. Lagipun, Arab ini budayanya tidak boleh bersatu disebabkan kepentingan yang berbeza. Sebab itu, negara-negara Arab masih berpegang kepada sistem feudal iaitu monarki dan menolak sistem demokrasi.

Ada yang berpendapat, Presiden Palestin Mahmoud Abas tidak seberani Arafat?

Mahmoud Abas mempunyai sikap dan pendirian yang berbeza berbanding Arafat seorang revolusioner.

Mahmoud Abas lebih percaya kepada proses rundingan dan jalan damai untuk mencapai keamanan di Palestin. Namun, ternyata dalam tempoh 50 tahun, jalan perdamaian makin jauh.

Yahudi ini tidak faham bahasa perdamaian. Mereka hanya faham melalui bahasa kekerasan dan itulah caranya untuk berhadapan dengan golongan ini.

Apakah usaha yang boleh dilakukan oleh umat Islam dalam membantu masyarakat Palestin?

Negara-negara Islam perlu ikhlas membantu terutama dari segi kemanusiaan. Banyak nyawa mereka yang tidak berdosa terkorban dalam krisis yang berlarutan sekian lama. Di Malaysia, selain bantuan kemanusiaan, usaha memberi penerangan perlu ditingkatkan. Ia penting kerana bukan semua orang mengetahui dan memahami isu utama yang menimpa Palestin.

Ini menyebabkan kadangkala ada nada yang seiringan dengan laporan media barat menyalahkan penduduk Palestin. Sedangkan fakta sebenarnya, rakyat Palestin ini tidak bersalah dan merekalah yang menjadi mangsa.

Semua usaha ini penting lebih-lebih lagi apabila kuasa besar terutama AS tidak mengiktiraf kerajaan Palestin di bawah pimpinan Perdana Menteri dari Parti Hanas, Ismail Haniyeh.

Comrades 0004

2009-01-16T01:49:00.000-08:00

This one is taken from cmrd0004 group page kot..written by Ajie.. I truly like her words~

Friends forever, we once said. Promises we once held to our hearts, convinced of the strength of our friendship. Friendships taken for granted because of the close proximity we once shared. Then we moved apart, and our lives became filled with the hustle and bustle of work and university and social activities, and the phone calls and e-mails became less frequent, and days turned into weeks, and weeks into months before we cross each other’s minds again, and we realise how far apart we’ve grown. The physical distance becoming a distance of hearts. And despite wanting to make that extra effort to say hello, wanting to know how each other has been, uncertainty becomes a barrier, and the flames of friendship become dying embers of a time that once was. This is a tribute to those friends. To the time we first met, when a pair of scared, lonely eyes search for comfort in the eyes of another. Those moments when i cried, and you were always there. We had such fun. Before our schedules became busy. To those times we would bitch about our seniors, and the urgency we felt to stand for our own rights. Those days when you would make me laugh until my side would hurt. To those wonderful days spent together. Before distance made a difference. To the year 2002 which would never be forgotten. The stay ups and the days when tears flew from sincerity of hearts. How we would shout Happy Friendship Day at the hall, our smiles were bright, and our eyes reflect the deep bonding we've made through all these years. Before life takes its toll on us. How we used to spend sleepless nights doing the sand art. How tears stung in each other's eyes as hurt creeps into our hearts. The quarreling and the fights, the hurt we all felt for a friendship that was getting fragile by the second. but our friendship survived it all.before we start taking different paths. And although some things may never be the same, we tried to make the best out of our final year. the fear we all felt for the expectations, the fun we all had watching AF at the hall, or just going jogging together, or just those times you would knock on my door and i would let you in, and we would sit and eat and talk. Before we grew up and got different sets of friends. To those loud laughters i miss so dearly. those times when i felt safe, just knowing that i have you. There were mistakes i wish i could undo, there were days i wish i had spend more times with you, and yet i am thankful enough to have the chance to know you. At times I sit and wonder wistfully what you guys are doing, and how you are coping leaving behind the years we did. and i know, in each and everyone of us, there's a soft spot longing for the old days in school. Here’s to those memories I cherish, and carry in my heart, for the smiles I spent and the laughter we shared. Some friends I have grown apart from, and some I have grown closer to, but I miss each and every one. Friends forever, we once said. And in my heart, we are. Love, ajjie.

Sept 16,2007

2009-01-16T01:46:00.000-08:00

Helpless

Open your eyes see the world you’re living in. Everything is suffocating. A life that is totally complementary with a real deep hypocrisy. Ms Goodie-goodie, Ms Hanky-panky, Mr. Macho and Mr. Nerdy. Those are familiar terms we used to describe others. We kept labeling people we don’t even know a thing about. We hate others without considering every inch of sides they had. We blamed people only by looking at their appearances. And I am neither whining nor ranting, I just completely breathless. These selfish and pathetic attitudes annoyed me completely. I hate being surrounded by atmosphere filled with hatred, hypocrites and virtual insanity. It’s hardly to feel the real meaning of living. Why must we express our negative way of thinking? We kept provoking our principles but why can’t we respect others’? Why can’t we filled our heart with mutual respect, an open mind, non-judgmental attitude, sincerity, humility and a desire of being nice to each other? We should understand that two identical things will never be the same. We have our own way of traveling and surviving in this world. Don’t expect everyone to be the same as you. They are definitely not you. Open your eyes see the world we’re living in. Completely helpless!

July 29, 2008

2009-01-16T01:44:00.000-08:00

I once heard someone said that

“The hardest part is to give your heart away”

Now come to think of it..

I think that’s absolutely right…

I don’t know what it’s wrong with my heart, my feelings..

I kept asking myself whether I am the one to be blamed for the failure of the past relationships…

I don’t know what else o do to make everything go right…

I am still searching..

For the right person, at the right time and in the right moment…

I am still waiting for my Mr. Right..

Good Luck to me~

July 29, 2008

2009-01-16T01:39:00.000-08:00

If I am happy and laughing,

Will u wish to stop the time?

If I cry from missing u,

Will u feel it from the wind?

If I am down and stress,

Will u miss my smile?

If my heart broke into thousand pieces,

Will u be the one who patch it back?

If the whole world is blaming me,

Will u still be there and trust me?

If I fall into the deepest ocean,

Will u jump in to save me?

If I am lost in the middle of nowhere,

Will u be the guidance to show me the way?

If I am alone in the dark,

Will u be the light to shine my way?

If I went missing one day,

Will u go and find me everywhere?

If I am tired and stop walking,

Will u be waiting and didn’t left me behind?

If I am sick,

Will u be the one to cure me?

If I said I can’t stand the pain,

Will u stop them from hurting me?

If I don’t want to wake up from my sleep,

Will u call me to come back?

If I die before u,

Will u wish we could meet again soon?

If I say this is the end,

Will u convince me that the new life has begun?

Will u do anything just for me?

Will u?

Because I will do anything for u,

Without even thinking twice.

October 22,2008

2009-01-16T01:34:00.000-08:00

I’m staring at you

But you’re thinking about someone else

I love you

But you’re in love with someone else

Is the cupid should be blamed?

Or destiny doesn’t want you to be mine?

But why am I feeling heavy inside?

As if my heart is cracking tears…

November 7,2008

2009-01-16T01:31:00.000-08:00

I lost my heart

ever since I met you

you have my heart

maybe you took it

maybe you stole it

maybe I gave it to you

but you have it

and I cant live anymore

with my heart is yours

I’m dying inside

Thinking that you’re going away

Away from me

Away with my heart

Without you even know you have it

October 31,2008

2009-01-16T01:26:00.000-08:00

I may be in love with him

I may be not

Soon after I realized he could hurt me deeply

I started backing off

Out from the love that might reached my heart

Afraid that he could hurt me even more if I love him later

But knowing that he might have the chance to hurt me

I started to wonder

Am I already in love with him?

July 29,2008

2009-01-16T01:23:00.000-08:00

Don’t be, Let me

Why’d you fleet your smile when I can see the gloomy upon?

Why’d you break your laugh when I can see the tears you shed?

Why’d you dance along when I can see your legs aren’t strong?

Why’d you sing the song when I can hear your voice shaken?

You claim you’re tough but the wall inside you is cracking

You said you’re fine but you can’t even stand tall

You showed me you’re happy but everything around you dissolves

You promised to tell me but not a single word ever came out

Don’t try to hold your cries since my tears will start falling

Don’t try to be strong since I am here as you strength

Don’t try to go alone since I can’t stop from chasing

Don’t try to feel the pain since I will take it all with me

Cry your heart out so I can come to you

Punch me hard so I can feel your pain too

Fall in front of me so I can catch you

Curse me loud so I can hear you

I’ll be your boat when you’re sinking

I’ll be your light when you in the dark

I’ll be your soul when you feel alone

I’ll be the one that forever there for you

April 9,2008

2009-01-16T01:19:00.000-08:00

Do I even love you?

Or it just that I have no clue?

If I do, please don’t let me know,

Cos right now I am letting you go,

I won’t ever looked back,

On the memories that you already packed,

I don’t care about my heart,

You’re just one of them I looked at,

I believed this is where I stand,

And I supposed this thing to ends,

So I don’t bother what or why,

Let us both say goodbye,

To all the good things that had happened,

And every great thing that even might happen.

January 23,2008

2009-01-16T01:13:00.000-08:00

im thinking back ahead time,
and i wonder why is here i stand,
without a soul without a role
im looking for nothing i goal

stop running and start facing
without a thought i burst out crying
why is life been so damn irritating
is it me who asked for a living?

friends or foes i hate them both
friends for leaving, foes for coming
help me out to find the truth
i've been lost long before i knew

angel of sadness angel of happiness
why are you here why are you gone?
i kept asking what i did that was wrong
is it true i have no place i belong?

night is here stars are gone
why the darkness kept chasing me on
i keep on holding and i started falling
is there any hopes for me in surviving?

i need to live i want to laugh
but this world has been really tough
deep inside sometimes im asking god
when will the day comes for me to be gone..

August 17,2007

2009-01-16T01:12:00.000-08:00

Taken from Salad Days, edited & posted~

I wont ask for anything more,

I just want to stay like this forever,

What did I mean by no romance?

My heart just dancing by seeing you on an off-day,

These kind of things just become revealed to you,

Whether you like it or not,

I feel like I want to be near u,

No matter what relationship we have,

I cant forget the day,

When such warm snow has fallen

Within this white scenery,

If I’m with you,

A moment of being a cadet will become

My most precious treasure

Lovers at the train station that pair up

I’ve always been curious just how did they come to be?

And when will this kind of love, strike me as well

And will I ever be an influence in someone else’s life?

February 27, 2008

2009-01-16T01:08:00.000-08:00

Tears..

The tears in my heart..

No one even noticed..

i can hear the cracking of my heart

the sound piercing my ears

too deep

why am I here today?
I don’t know where to find the answer

im just a body without its soul

Im breathing without living

Im smiling with no happiness

Sometimes I asked myself..

How many longer I can hold?

The sky is so high..

I cant even see the end

My life is so blind

I coudnt even find the way

I keep seaching the reason

To stay in this world as I meant to be

The night is so cold

And im laying on bed with no one to hold

my life is like a song

manipulated by the composer

there’s lines that I have to follow

I can only smile to satisfy them

I feel secured being with those I love

But how many longer can they stay with me

When will they step away from my life?

This question keeps threatening me

I can only march on

Im too afraid to lose till

I don’t have the courage to own

If I could be the wind

I will go to a place faraway

The place that only belongs to happiness

Im still me, nobody can change me

happiness is temporary but sufferings seemed permanent

I choose to live on, I would have to be strong

Playing in my minds repeatedly is my regrets

I accelerate the thought of sadness

Counting my wrongdoings, shameful

The people I hurt

I cannot forgive myself for end up like this

The sun shining upon me

Trying to convinced that the hopes are there for me

But the gravity holds me tight to ground

Didn’t let me escaped to fantasy anymore

Life..life..life

Why was I agreed to live in this cruel world?

Now that I cant regret

If I die now..

I die as nothing but a loser

But still, slowly..

I scratched a razor in deep my arms

the hot red blood rushing down

Pains in the arm flows away the pain in my heart

Im a little bit tired of watching the red liquid filled my body

Im closing my eyes

The sad moments still playing in the atmosphere

Like a movie that has no end

The pain in both my body and soul is incresing

Tears suddenly run down my face

Will this sadness stop pressing me

I tried to open my eyes

But I cant

I can still feel the blood slowly coming from the wound

I feel numb

Suddenly I see the faces of those I love most

I can see myself smiling doing things I like

The smile that comes from the heart

I never thought I ever smile like that before

Now that I regret.. am I already too late?

Im walking alone in the dark

Through the path that filled with the things I ve done

Am I dying?

I cant hear my heartbeats anymore

I cant feel the warm of my blood

Im sitting alone in confused

When will I wake up from this dream?

Am I not going to wake up anymore?

Is my life ends at the edge of the razor?

Is me the one who decide whether to live or die?

Tears keep running in confused~

p/s: this one quite emo ayte?haha...i cant believe i wrote something like that~lol

Sept 25, 2007

2009-01-16T01:07:00.000-08:00

Yea… I’m messed up!

I cant believe I am actually this weak…

Each and every time I thought I’m all matured, grown up, I can handle things and pressures…

In the end, I am helpless…

Whenever I think I am happy, stable and I feel great…

The bad things came up…

When I set my pledge not to disturb my friends with my stupid troubles, I end up bothering then…

I can’t managed to handle things on my own…

Until when? The last day of my life?
Why do I keep doing the mistakes?

Why do I keep ruining my life?

Why can’t I be more independent?

Damn it!

I hated it when it turned out this way…

I hated my entire undependable attitude…

I hated all…

I’m sick of it…

I’m tired…

I’m pathetic loser…

I’m down!

Why can’t I be such a normal human being who doesn’t need helps, whines or useless…

I’m way too far from being a human…

Crazy me, stupid me, insane me, vulnerable me and depressing me…

I thought I’m a grown up, an adult and it turned out hopeless!

What? Am I having some personality disorder or what?

I kept saying to myself… I surely can deal with this…I didn’t need help…I can do this on my own… after all, things never turned out the way I wanted it to be…

The thoughts were too much!

The more I expected the least I got…

The more I tried to run from difficulties, the more people I hurt…

Why can’t my life be any easier?

Damn it, again I am WHINING! Why can’t I stop doing that?

When I think I am ok, why can’t it be ok?

When I think I am happy, why can’t I keep being happy?

When I want to avoid troubles, why they kept coming after me?

Depressions? Low? Conflicts? Girls fight?

Hey, I am no longer a teenager to deal with those stuffs!

But…urghhh!!!!!

Why things always go wrong no matter how hard I try?

Owh, damn it… the more I write, the more I am down…

So to make it short…

I am totally messed up!

April 1, 2008

2009-01-16T01:04:00.000-08:00

Dah tak laratla, sumpah aku memang x tahan lagi

Bape hari, bape minit or bape saat lagi pun aku xpasti

Aku betol2 berharap aku boleh hilang

Ye, terus hilang macam tu je

Rasa macam hati disiat-siat

Bila tengok orang-orang yang aku benci

Kebencian yang terlalu amat sampai aku pula yang seksa

Jadi aku ingin pergi

Jauh dari kehinaan ini

Kenapa perlu jalan hidup aku bersimpang dengan dorang

Kenapa mesti dalam takdir aku wujud kelibat dorang

Kenapa aku perlu terlibat dalam kekejian dorang

Kenapa aku sebagai aku yang muncul di antara dorang

Entah aku tak bisa untuk pergi

Bukanlah sebab pentingnya korang dalam hidupku

Bukan jua sebab kebencian aku yang memaku

Tapi sebab aku tak mungkin mampu berlari jauh

Yang pasti aku tidak mungkin menjadi korang

Walau sebenci gunung walau sesuka zarah, aku tak mungkin

Biarlah aku terus hilang dalam kekalutan ini

Biar aku terus menolak korang dari hidupku

Basically...

2009-01-16T01:00:00.000-08:00

Basically… nothing really much to jot down here..

Eyh..u know what.. one of my buddies said something about marriage..

That her bf kept asking her to marry him..

Gosh, am I the only one who feels that time flies REALLY fast!/

Well..i know clock never stops ticking but..isnt it too fast??

I feel like just yesterday we were

I know we’re already in adulthood..but..

Marriage??oh man..

I don’t even know how to make a perfect cup of tea yet !

Err..i don’t think I need to mention about my ‘skill’ in cooking..

But hey..actually im quite excited to hear about that..

Came to think about it..

I guess it’s actually cool, if you think about it positively..

Whatever it is, do what your heart says!

Ring the bell…!!Chayok2…

ayUcHen cOmEback!! (not only Britney can do this!)

2009-01-13T18:31:00.000-08:00

aha...nothing really la.. it just, i felt like i've stopped writing for quite a long time.. i do still write those stupid-emo quotes but didn't really have the time to post them all.. owh..when i was browsing.. i accidentally stopped at Pena's blog.. ntah post yg bile.. but the point is, her post really moved my heart.. obviously, it was all about ssp-thing (the only thing that could make me stop and think seriously and missing and wondering how's everyone doing!hehe) no, i mean..she was talking about how she missed ssp,sspians (me too) so..ahaha, yea2 this is not a great intro for a comeback ayte? i should do more like Britney!! You wanna piece of me?oh yeah, oh yeah...
owh, gotta go..
i have a dental appointment..
tata!

aYUchEn cOmebAck!!!!!!

poyo je.....

Exams Night Out

2009-01-13T18:17:00.001-08:00

my heart - the perishers

2008-10-22T01:07:00.000-07:00

: my heart

It’s my heart you’re stealing
It’s my heart you take
It’s my heart you’re dealing with
And it’s my heart you’ll break

It’s my heart you’re taking
It’s breaking bit by bit
It’s my heart you’re dealing with
But you don’t know about it

If you’d feel like I feel
And if you’d know what I know
I don’t think you’d ever play me
I know you’d never play me

It’s my heart you’re stealing
It’s my heart you take
It’s my heart you’re dealing with
And it’s my heart you’ll break

If you’d feel like I feel
And if you’d know what I know
I don’t think you’d ever play me
I know you’d never play me

Love?No love?

2008-08-06T01:57:00.000-07:00

Do i love you?
Or I just have no clue?
even if i do, don't let me know
Cause i am letting you go
I won't ever looked back
On the memories that you packed
I don't care about my heart
You're just one of them i looked at
I believe this is where i should stand
And i supposed this thing to an end
I don't care what or why
Let us both say goodbye
To every good things that had happened
And every great things that might happen

ngantuk!

2008-01-29T16:13:00.000-08:00

oho...penat+ngantok= aku dah rse pelik!
smlm tdo awal gle, kol 10 dah padam...
lately ade kuar rumors ade org minyak mnyerang kt kolej ni..
ntahla nk caye ke x..tringt ple kt cte p.ramlee dolu2..

alarm aku kol 3am dah bbunyik..tp kol 430am jue bru mampu bgerak dr katil nan indah permai itu...
shine2 kasut, iron uniform bravo, after suboh kuar g inspection..
pg ni xdela terok sgt..
tp aku mmg ngantok..
apetah ke patut budak meor 2 tnye aku mandi ke x..
aku ni siap mandi ngn bhgie, blosyen2, bperfume2 lg b4 trun tau!
mmg mata spoiler r die!

owh utk dinner navy ni,aku hnye tuka hadiah ngn madi jek since ktrg adela tade anak dlm sea family..
oloh sedihnye dpt 1 hadiah saje...sob2..sob2..
tp ttbe encik aizat pn ajak aku ngn madi bkomplot tuka hadiah...
dahla demand, mau t-shirt body glove size M ple..
lantakla, aku kasi yg pasar mlm nye jugak!

ingt harini nk smbung donlod cte Wrong Turn 2: Dead End, tp ttbe dak fira wat muke kucing bbunyik

che'en...temanla g bank islam kt bayan baru...
ko xd klas kn arini?urgent ni...

aku pn memandang ngn wajah bengis..
bayarla oi!

yela2...nnt gwe banje kmu mkn....

so skang around 830, bajet kol 9kang kua g bank...
oyea, after sign kembaran gaji, aku pn trus blah blk blek...
tp tgh mlangkah penuh sopan, dgr ade suara yg xbape sedap nk dgr mjerit2..

puan ayu, puan ayu!

ceh bdk syakirin ni upenye mspoilkn hari aku..aku pn benti n mnunggu keknk itu tibe...

knape?
ayat bajet penuh concernla...

ni kad jemputan utk dinner, eyh nanti dlu!puan da baya blom ni??
tnye bliau penuh ragu2...

dahla...

owh, ni ade 2 kad!utk puan ngn partner puan..musti bwk partner tau!

taula...

*sigh*..sapela mamat utk aku cekup buat partner ni..sume membe2 aku pn jejauh...
kamal nun disarawak, mukhim kt kl, rainbow kt taiping..
klu bwk b.cik bmasalah ple aku nk soh die blk nnt..
mat rempit 2 mmg susa sket aku nk handle...*sigh*

sadis2...mne nk cri bopren dlm mse tdekat ni!!! ketuk2 kepale...
baju utk dinner pn xsiap lg..
itula ingt nk trun kl usha bju smpena CNY ni musti sale...
tp aku cm da dpt warning jek dr boss kt umah..

hang jgn cri psl..ni knduri last family abah..nk mati kna blasah ngn tok??

eyh jap2...
ade accidentla kt bwh blok ni..
proton saga ngn ego kunin..cm luke2 jgk gades2 yg naik ego 2...
mamat proton 2 nmpk cm bebel2 pastu calling2 sape tah..
oloh, sian ple tgk bdk2 ego 2..
tp xtaula ape yg jdk sbnnye, aku pn usha dr tkgt 6 ni jek...
okla, itu saje...
toodlesssSS~

hari ini...

2008-01-23T18:18:00.000-08:00

mlm smlm bsmgt tdo awal sbb arini klas seawal pg..
tp bgn mmg lmbt jue, after snooze alarm bpuloh kli...
then rushing2 g klas...
seb baik bkn the last person yg smpai..2nd last!hehe..

after klas differential supposedly klas mikroekon...
skali lg ngn penuh etika aku mmecut kapcai ke bangunan SK yg tletak nun di atas bukit sane...(mmg malang kalu ade klas kt sni..jauhhh)

smpai jek kt klas, aku ngn cnfident trus mluru masuk...(ni mmg besala acting, bajet da pnat blari2 utk mngejar klas)..
sekali, itu bukanla klas microekon...
semua yg dlm klas tsbut mmandang aku ngn wajah simpati jek...
salah klas upenye bdk ni..kutuk mereka dhati..
sguh amat ttekan rsenye time 2 sbb klas da cancel tanpe pngetahuan aku...
(sape soh ko ponteng klas b4 ni!)

weekends ni ade test differential, next week ade rumors bhwe ade test statistics....
xthnnye beta..............
blela prince charming nk masuk mminang ni..
pnatla nk blaja2 ni...

owh ni 1st post kt blog ni..
so mmgla xbest..
saye budak bru blaja klu salah tlg tunjukkn..lalala

ahaha...saje jek post ni..
tgh donlod prison break, owh2 ni nk gtau sket..
dlm epi 4, sara kn da mati..
tp mnurut ay, dlm epi 9 rsenye cm sara idop lg..
tp kt msia bru smpai epi 8 (yg aku xdonlod2 lg pn...)
tlgla jgn si darling sara itu mati...
sian incik scofield yg sgt bgaye itu!

starting point..

2008-01-23T06:01:00.000-08:00