Yea… I’m messed up!
I cant believe I am actually this weak…
Each and every time I thought I’m all matured, grown up, I can handle things and pressures…
In the end, I am helpless…
Whenever I think I am happy, stable and I feel great…
The bad things came up…
When I set my pledge not to disturb my friends with my stupid troubles, I end up bothering then…
I can’t managed to handle things on my own…
Until when? The last day of my life?
Why do I keep doing the mistakes?
Why do I keep ruining my life?
Why can’t I be more independent?
Damn it!
I hated it when it turned out this way…
I hated my entire undependable attitude…
I hated all…
I’m sick of it…
I’m tired…
I’m pathetic loser…
I’m down!
Why can’t I be such a normal human being who doesn’t need helps, whines or useless…
I’m way too far from being a human…
Crazy me, stupid me, insane me, vulnerable me and depressing me…
I thought I’m a grown up, an adult and it turned out hopeless!
What? Am I having some personality disorder or what?
I kept saying to myself… I surely can deal with this…I didn’t need help…I can do this on my own… after all, things never turned out the way I wanted it to be…
The thoughts were too much!
The more I expected the least I got…
The more I tried to run from difficulties, the more people I hurt…
Why can’t my life be any easier?
Damn it, again I am WHINING! Why can’t I stop doing that?
When I think I am ok, why can’t it be ok?
When I think I am happy, why can’t I keep being happy?
When I want to avoid troubles, why they kept coming after me?
Depressions? Low? Conflicts? Girls fight?
Hey, I am no longer a teenager to deal with those stuffs!
But…urghhh!!!!!
Why things always go wrong no matter how hard I try?
Owh, damn it… the more I write, the more I am down…
So to make it short…
I am totally messed up!
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